Culture: Are Your White Friends Problematic?

Are Your White Friends Problematic?

Have you felt out of sync with your white friends lately?

Did Allie described something as “ghetto” recently, but it was just a normal thing like chipped nail polish?

Did Billy say something kinda problematic but you’re unsure if you should count it against him?

Take this test to find out 🚩

Instructions:

Pick the answer that fits. Tally your points at the end.

1. How do they react when rap plays on the speaker?

A) They vibe without doing the most. (0 points)
B) They start rapping loudly, including every word. (1 point)
C) They suddenly develop a blaccent. (2 points)
D) They ask to change the song because they can’t take the heat (3 points)

2. How do they spend their weekends?

A) Relaxing, hobbies, maybe brunch. (0 points)
B) Occasional party, nothing wild. (1 point)
C) Coke/ketamine binges like it’s a lifestyle. (2 points)
D) Blacking out, causing drama, and not remembering. (3 points)

3. Do they have other Black or POC friends?

A) Yes, naturally diverse circle. (0 points)
B) A couple, but they rarely hang out. (1 point)
C) Only me… and they bring that up a lot. (2 points)
D) No, and they don’t see why that’s weird. (3 points)

4. How do they wear their pants?

A) Comfortable, fits their style. (0 points)
B) Super skinny, like circulation isn’t important. (1 point)
C) Baggy, but trying too hard. (2 points)
D) Salmon-colored shorts with boat shoes. (3 points)

5. Favorite white artist?

A) Someone chill, non-problematic. (0 points)
B) Indie fave like Lizzy McAlpine. (1 point)
C) Frat-boy classics—think Chainsmokers. (2 points)
D) Travis Scott, Kanye [or whatever equivalent]. Yes, white Kanye fans get a point here. (3 points)

6. How do they react when they don’t get their way?

A) They’re chill, move on. (0 points)
B) Passive-aggressive vibes. (1 point)
C) Minor tantrum, dramatic sighs. (2 points)
D) Threaten lawsuits. (3 points)

7. How do they approach your hair?

A) Respectfully, never unprovoked. (0 points)
B) Curious but ask first. (1 point)
C) Reach out without asking. (2 points)
D) Touch it, then say, “I just love how different it feels!” (3 points)

8. What color shirts do they wear regularly?

A) Neutral, chill colors. (0 points)
B) Occasional pastel. (1 point)
C) Salmon, and it’s a personality trait. (2 points)
D) American flag tank tops… unironically. (3 points)

9. How do they act when around other Black people?

A) Normal, same as always. (0 points)
B) Slightly awkward but respectful. (1 point)
C) Overcompensating—extra loud or trying too hard. (2 points)
D) Performative “down” energy with cringy slang. (3 points)

10. Do they pull the “I’m not racist” card?

A) No, they show it through actions. (0 points)
B) Yes, but they’re open to feedback. (1 point)
C) “I can’t be racist, I have Black friends!” (2 points)
D) Defensive immediately—“I’m the least racist person you’ll ever meet.” (3 points)

Scoring:

• 0–5 Points: 🟢 They’re Probably Safe
  Your friend seems solid. Chill, respectful, no red flags.
  

• 6–12 Points: 🟡 Mildly Problematic
  Some questionable behavior. Might need a lil convo.
  

• 13–20 Points: 🔴 Bigggg Red Flags
  They’re doing too much. Time for reflection—or distance.
  

• 21–30 Points: 🚩🚩 Majorly Toxic
  Problematic with a capital P. Protect your peace.

Sometimes WYPIPO Drain Me.

At the end of the day, existing in spaces where you’re constantly misunderstood, explaining, or justifying yourself is exhausting. The emotional labor is real. And over time, you have to start choosing your peace over proximity. 🖤